Some Lunatic In Love
by CabbahLovah
Summary: Tori Vega kicked her feet around and felt the air dance across her damp tongue. She looked like some lunatic who had just fallen in love. And maybe she was exactly that. (Jade&Tori)
1. Writer's Block

**Hey! So I wanna do a very quick Jori two-shot. And Yeah, this is part one, I guess.**

The worst time to possibly get writer's block is right now. The Full Moon Jam is coming around once again, and here I am, being forced to write another song. I'm not good at this. My inspiration well has run dry. That's probably because I've been stuck up in my room for a week trying to get this stupid song done. I haven't even called or texted Andre, Cat, Beck, Robbie or Jade. I had cut myself off from the outside world. But I now realise how stupid that is.

Springing up from my messy sheets, I bounce to the door. My room's quite messy from all the crumpled notebook sheets and various musical instruments. I don't really play a lot of them, but I figure that if I can make a sound that doesn't sound like a cat giving birth, then I can really do anything. I remember trying to make a pleasant noise spit out of a trombone I had 'borrowed' from my neighbours, and making it sound like a hyena….who was dying.

Despite what most people think, I'm not the best at instrumentals. I can really only play piano to some degree, Beck's trying to teach me guitar, and I still cannot play the French horn or piccolo. But I don't really mind, as my voice is my strong point. People say that you don't need music for something to be a song. Personally, I'm a big fan of poetry, believing that every stanza is a verse in a song. Hey, maybe that's what I'll do; I'll write poetry, but sing it.

But I need to do this somewhere else. The smell and vibe of my cluttered room is making my head spin. Normally my mauve room is welcoming, and I love spending time there, but, right now it hurts me. My cupboard shelves lined with pictures and strange little doo-dads I've found here and there. I'm quite a collector, mostly of feathers dropped on the ground or running down a stream in the hills. Feathers always fascinated me, though I'm not sure why.

I make my way down into the main area of my house, where the light blinds me. I realise I hadn't seen light in three days. Man, I have a problem. I think I may have the house to myself, although I'm not quite sure, due to the fact I haven't done anything productive. What if they went on holiday or something? Okay, no, they would tell me. Right? Yeah, that's stupid. I skip through the room, hop over the stairs and open the door to reveal my courtyard.

The birds chirp melodiously as the blue sky reveals the shining sun. I feel the heat radiate onto the bare skin of my neck, lighting up my body and mind. The air feels slightly damp, although it hadn't rained much. I breathe deeply, feeling the air dance along my tongue. I am strange like that; I don't just 'breathe', I like to saviour every breath of fresh air. I dance across the courtyard, kicking my heels and swaying my arms like some lunatic who had just fallen in love.

I sigh to myself. Oh, love. I've never really been very good at it. Danny turned out to be a traitor; telling me he was in love with another girl while we were dating. Ryder was just a plain jerk, and Steven. Man, Steven just crossed the line. And Beck tried to kiss me, even though he's Jade's ex.

Jade. I don't even know what to say about Jade. I kind of always have had this 'thing' for her. I'm not sure what it is though. I smile at her a lot, even though I have no real reason to. There's just something about her aura, the way I feel when she's around me. I'm not sure if I ever considered myself a lesbian. I mean, I've only ever dated guys in my life. It's not like I can just change, can I? I know Jade, she's into boys. But she's only ever dated Beck.

I don't know, maybe, Jade gets nervous around me as well. Maybe her heart starts to race and her palms sweat. Although, that's probably just wishful thinking. I always enjoyed thinking like that; it gave me dreams and hopes. But I'd never had one about feelings before. Well, until this moment. Oh well, Jade's probably still deeply in love with Beck, and I'm just a girl. And I guess that's okay, considering I don't know how I feel for her.

After deciding I had danced around enough, I spot a latticed chair underneath the apple tree. I plonk myself down on it, grabbing a notebook and pen from my pocket. Okay, what shall I write about? Ooh, I know! Hopes and dreams. No, that's cheesy, Tori. Think big. Think real. Think deep. Deep green. That's the color of Jade's eyes. Sometimes they were light blue, shimmering with hope and glee. Her eyes were like the windows to her soul, giving away her deepest secrets, not that I ever really realised that before. Tori, stop thinking!

Maybe about dancing. Just like I did thirty seconds ago. Oh, I love the way Jade dances. She lets her body guide her, syncing her movements with the beat. Tori, what are you doing? You can't like Jade. Jade is a vicious and cruel monster deserving of no one. What? No she's not. She's a free spirit trapped inside a protected body. Tori…seriously, shut up. You've got to stop thinking about Jade. Think about your clothes.

I look down at my white jeans and my purple blouse. Purple. That's the color of Jade's highlights. They brighten up Jade's curtained hair, and just draw your attention to them. Okay, Tori… seriously, stop.

But I can't. Everything thing I can think of reminds me of Jade. Okay, Tori, just face it. You like Jade. You _like _Jade. Oh, no, I _am _a lesbian. Oh well, I guess there's no harm in that. Oh wait. Beck. Beck's my friend; he's a really close friend. I mean, could I really do this to him? But nothing should ever get in the way of true love? Ugh, my head.

Maybe I should tell Jade? Maybe she could feel the same way? Maybe her palms start to sweat around me. Maybe her heart starts to race when she's near me. But I can't ask her. That'd be weird. She'd be like 'What the hell, you think I'm a lesbian, Vega?!' But maybe I can tell her without telling her. I can do that, right?

Oh who am I kidding? Of course I can. I'm Victoria Vega! I can do anything, even tell a girl who hates me that I secretly have had a crush on her for the past year, especially when she had a boyfriend. Oh man, I'm making myself sound like some monster. But you're allowed to become a monster for love, right? No, Tori, of course you're not. There is no excuse. But I do really like Jade.

You see, this is what happens when you fall in love for real, Tori. No, Tori, you are **not **in love. Ugh, this is going to be harder than I thought.

Wait, what if I write my song about Jade? Yeah, that's what Andre did. And it made him get over her. Yes, Tori, we may do that.

So, I pour my heart into rhyme on my notepad, being careful not to use Jade's name. I don't think about it, I just let my hand move itself freely across the paper. I feel so strange, yet so relieved to let something know. I had kept my feelings for Jade locked up in my heart for a while, and thought I could handle being around her everyday. But I couldn't. I can't. She's just…Jade.

After an hour or so, I find my paper completely full of what would seem like meaningless words. But they meant something to me. They were my heart. Like my heart spewed out onto the page. Ew, no, Tori, that's gross. It's like….there's no word to explain it.

_I want to tell you I'm in love_

_But you can't know_

_I wanna take a hold of your heart_

_But I keep letting go_

_Tell me, when I look into your deep green eyes_

_What should I expect to find?_

_And deeper into your beating heart_

_Tell me, am I what makes it start?_

_Answer me one thing_

_Before I look upon your face_

_When I'm around you_

_Does your heart start to race?_

**Yes, I did right that myself, by the way.**


	2. Annoying Texts

**Hey, so, with the very 'kind' request to complete this, I guess I should. So, yeah**

**||Jade||**

Once again, Cat has somehow convinced me to attend another stupid school production. I'd only really cared when Trina's flying went wrong. Oh, good times. And right now, I really couldn't care less about stupid Full Moon Jams.

The ditzy red headed girl in the seat next to me started giggling uncontrollably. I flicked my head towards her angrily.

'What's so funny?!' I asked annoyance obvious in my tone. Cat's face immediately fell. I notice that I constantly and not always accidentally end up hurting Cat's feelings in some way. Although most of the time she just shook it off and laughed.

She shook her head quickly and looked towards me.

'Well, it's something Robbie said last night. He said that I was his chocolate covered strawberry! Isn't he the greatest?' Cat squeaked, her hair flopping up off her shoulders as she jumped excitedly. It was actually really sweet, what Cat & Robbie have together. I mean, I would prefer less of the details about their puppy names or exactly what they did the night before. Like when they went to Nozu and sang that song together.

Oh, Nozu. We've had some good times there. First, Tori & I go on a date. Wait. No, Tori & you did NOT go on a date, Jade! Stop being so stupid! It was a freaking playdate set up by our crazy teacher. It. Was. Not. A. Date. You. Do. Not. Like. Tori. You. Are. Not. A. Lesbian. You. Are. Still. In. Love. With. Beck. Now. Stop. Thinking. Like. This.

I smiled weakly back at Cat, as I returned my eyes back to the road. It was a pretty gloomy day, and it looked like rain was on its way. Oh, how I love rain. It's so….dark. And everybody knows how I love dark things. I love getting my black mascara ruined; it reminds me of how well I liked the look of crying. Crying was a fun thing for me. I don't really have an explanation for it though. I just love it. I remember the last time I cried.

It was when I was with Tori in the janitor's closet and cried over Beck. It's amazing how stupid I feel now. I know deep down I still love Beck. Whether it's **that **kind of love or not is still a question that haunts me. I didn't cry. But I didn't smile. I wasn't heartbroken. But I wasn't happy. Sometimes being so in love with someone who wasn't so in love with you made my daily life a struggle.

But I realise there's always been one person there for me. One person who caught me when I fell. One person who broke my heart, yet mended it. One person who will never love me.

'Jade? Hello? You missed the exit,' Cat told, breaking me out of my line of thought like someone walking through the web of a spider. I almost swerve into the sidewalk as I try to regain my focus.

'No worries, we'll just drive around,' I clutch my hands tightly around the steering well, my palms sweating. Crap, what if I was lost? I found my heart beating almost out of my chest. I quickly looked to Cat who was texting on her phone, probably to Robbie. I start to pant as my foot eases off the accelerator and my grasp on the steering wheel tightens. Jade, what are you doing? You'll be fine! I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a second. I loosen my wrists and look towards the intersection.

'Are you okay?!' Cat asks, quickly pressing her hand onto my forearm. I suck in a quick, deep breath.

'Yes, I just panicked, that's all,' I flick my indicator to upwards, as I slowly brake at the intersection. I take some time to learn to breathe properly again, and I rub my hands together to diminish some of the sweat.

You see what Tori can do? She'll cause you to almost crash. But man, would I let her. No, Jade, shut up. Tori is just your friend. Even if you want to be more, that's all you are to her. You're just a friend. You're not even a real friend. You're a person who hated her. Okay, Jade, just relax and keep your eyes on the road.

I slump further back into my seat, trying desperately to control my breathing and slow my heart rate. I impatiently glare at the lights as if I could tell them to go green. It seems like forever I'm sitting there. All I can here is the irritating sound of Cat's thumbs clicking against her PearPhone screen. I tried not to get too annoyed by it, but failed miserably.

'Cat, can you turn your volume down?' I try to ask politely, but it ends up as a hiss through my teeth. She doesn't stop her thumbs, she doesn't raise her eyes, and she just continues texting. I sigh heavily and roll my eyes, still waiting for the stupid light to go green.

'Oh, lookie here! Tori's texted us,' Cat exclaims, shoving the pear shaped phone into my face. Us? _Us? _How did Tori know that Cat was with me? It's not like just because she's doing a performance doesn't automatically mean that Cat was going to drag me along. Ugh, this is really getting on my last nerves.

The light still hasn't changed to green. OH MY GOD, LIGHT GO GREEN! It's been forever.

'Jaaaddeeeeyyyy! Do you seeee?' Cat waves the screen back in front of my face. I guess this time I should actually try to read.

_Hey, where are you & Jade? I'm not going on without you two. Are you_

_I wanna tell you how I feel_

_But you can't see_

_I can't tell if this is real_

_What's between you and me?_

The beautiful chime of her voice rings through my ears as I become aware of my surroundings.

**Huh? Did ya like it? This was originally going to be a two-shot, but iz gonna be multi now! Yaaaayyyy! Kay, now, bai.**


End file.
